Roadblocks to a Successful Escape

Roadblocks to a Successful Escape

            Domestic violence is a serious matter. It damages families, women, men, children and all lives involved. Most have the belief that only women and children are the recipients of domestic violence, but men can also be victims of domestic violence.

            Many also believe that domestic violence is only physical abuse. Domestic violence can span across circumstances verbally, emotionally, and financially as well. How familiar are you with domestic violence prevention and intervention?

             

            On a more personal note, I was a victim of domestic violence for over five years of the relationship with my oldest three children’s father. The relationship was very volatile and unhealthy for me. His methods of domestic violence were somewhat atypical at times but none the less still domestic violence. He forbad me to read books or magazines. He detested the fact that I was intellectual and smart. He would rip my books and magazines into pieces or hid them from me. On top of physically abusing me by punching and slapping me, he would throw away my makeup or new clothes that I would purchase. Once he flicked a penny at my eye so hard that I lost vision in it for hours. Despite the torture that I endured, I stayed with him for several years.

            Why do victims of domestic violence remain in the relationship? Why do the victims tolerate horrendous violations of their character and mental and physical well- being?

  

            Remaining Reason #1: MONEY

When victims have been financially deprived in a relationship, the reality of independence is almost an obsolete thought. Victims have had no identity of their own for so long. Dependence has been the only means of survival which will be used as ammunition against deciding to leave the relationship. Dependent victims usually lack education and job experience to be self- sufficient.

            Remaining Reason #2: IT’S RIGHT!

The quest to keep some normalcy and decency in life, plays a huge factor in remaining in a relationship that is abusive. To keep religious integrity intact, many can point to the perfect bible scripture that says to honor vows and marriage. Also, victims of domestic violence refuse to break up the family unit because of the children. Children are often so protected in domestic violence upheavals that they are unaware of the abuse that is occurring.

            Remaining Reason #3: LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

Domestic violence is a cycle of abuse. Two cycles exist in domestic violence. A cycle of highs and lows where one span of time abuse does occur and then another span of time when no abuse occurs.  The violence is periodical which makes it seem, feel and appear tolerable. Another cycle of abuse is generational. The victim or perpetrator was raised in a home of domestic violence. A sense of normalcy has desensitized the violence. Domestic violence has become a customized lifestyle of wrongdoing that continues.

            The best remedy of domestic violence is to get out, ESCAPE. The situation is difficult to resolve if both parties are still in the environment where the domestic violence occurs. I know it is easier said than done, but it is possible. The prerequisite to leaving a domestic violence situation is to develop a mindset of boldness and a positive support system to rely on. Victims deserve to be treated respectfully.    

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Do you know someone who is a victim of domestic violence? Take a stand! Contact GinMan Consulting for a FREE CONFIDENTIAL wellness strategy session at info@ginmanconsulting.com