Roadblocks to a Successful Escape
Domestic violence is a serious matter. It damages
families, women, men, children and all lives involved. Most have the belief
that only women and children are the recipients of domestic violence, but men
can also be victims of domestic violence.
Many also believe that domestic violence is only physical
abuse. Domestic violence can span across circumstances verbally, emotionally,
and financially as well. How familiar are you with domestic violence prevention
and intervention?
On a more personal note, I was a victim of domestic
violence for over five years of the relationship with my oldest three
children’s father. The relationship was very volatile and unhealthy for me. His
methods of domestic violence were somewhat atypical at times but none the less
still domestic violence. He forbad me to read books or magazines. He detested
the fact that I was intellectual and smart. He would rip my books and magazines
into pieces or hid them from me. On top of physically abusing me by punching
and slapping me, he would throw away my makeup or new clothes that I would
purchase. Once he flicked a penny at my eye so hard that I lost vision in it
for hours. Despite the torture that I endured, I stayed with him for several
years.
Why do victims of domestic violence remain in the
relationship? Why do the victims tolerate horrendous violations of their
character and mental and physical well- being?
Remaining
Reason #1: MONEY
When victims have been
financially deprived in a relationship, the reality of independence is almost
an obsolete thought. Victims have had no identity of their own for so long.
Dependence has been the only means of survival which will be used as ammunition
against deciding to leave the relationship. Dependent victims usually lack
education and job experience to be self- sufficient.
Remaining Reason #2: IT’S RIGHT!
The quest to keep some
normalcy and decency in life, plays a huge factor in remaining in a
relationship that is abusive. To keep religious integrity intact, many can
point to the perfect bible scripture that says to honor vows and marriage. Also,
victims of domestic violence refuse to break up the family unit because of the
children. Children are often so protected in domestic violence upheavals that
they are unaware of the abuse that is occurring.
Remaining Reason #3: LACK OF KNOWLEDGE
Domestic violence is a cycle
of abuse. Two cycles exist in domestic violence. A cycle of highs and lows
where one span of time abuse does occur and then another span of time when no
abuse occurs. The violence is periodical
which makes it seem, feel and appear tolerable. Another cycle of abuse is
generational. The victim or perpetrator was raised in a home of domestic
violence. A sense of normalcy has desensitized the violence. Domestic violence
has become a customized lifestyle of wrongdoing that continues.
The best remedy of domestic violence is to
get out, ESCAPE. The situation is difficult to resolve if both parties are
still in the environment where the domestic violence occurs. I know it is
easier said than done, but it is possible. The prerequisite to leaving a
domestic violence situation is to develop a mindset of boldness and a positive
support system to rely on. Victims deserve to be treated respectfully.
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Do you know someone who is a victim of domestic
violence? Take a stand! Contact GinMan Consulting for a FREE CONFIDENTIAL
wellness strategy session at info@ginmanconsulting.com
